Monday, May 23, 2005

Lead Me

My mouse hasn't been functioning properly for the past couple of days. Let alone blogging, even simple tasks like replying e-mails and saving pictures become time-wasting chores of continuously pressing the Tab button... and yet again, if I missed the link. GAH .\/.; Please thank my sister for her generous contribution (soft-loan?) of a wireless mouse, otherwise there would be little work accomplished today.

It's quite certain, where I'll be heading for the next couple of months. Last month I would have not the slightest idea it would be happening. I hate to say that, although it is true, circumstances only add more reasons of going.

What about returning? All I can say is "I bought a return ticket, don't worry."

Weirdly enough, I was not as much concerned about the P.R. as I thought I would/should be. When the first appeal was submitted two months ago, I was jittery and almost scared to death. I am still jittery, but not as worried nowadays. Is it because of nonchalance, desensitisation or plain feeling of reassurance? Is it because that now I have graduated and got an Accounting/Finance-related degree, applying for P.R. is virtually a formality to have it offered to me?

I am scared of going and not returning; of going and losing my sights on what I chase (yet again.) I feel like a fish out of water, and I will feel like one for a long period of time. It seems like I will be a gaijin wherever I go. It is good in some ways, but not a soothing point when one craves for security.

Well, I am a gaijin.

I will miss Bandit more than ever. He seems to get the idea that I will be away for a long time, and his face shows he didn't like it at all. To be honest, I am more worried about leaving him rather than studying for the exam. How twisted is that >.<>

Lack of physical (and mental) exercise is also an issue related to the departure, but I will not elaborate on this.

Aaargh, I feel tired and bewildered. Managed to wake up at approximately 8AM in the morning for the past week or two, but found falling asleep hard to induce. Sometimes I think whether my goals are worth the challenge, or whether I am chasing after an illusory promise. It is hard to see everything laid out on a written plan right now.

I went to an interview on Friday. The interviewer effectively intimidated me (whether he realised it or not) and it worked well enough I gave him a lot of stuttered responses. My goodness, as if I remember everything bad that happens in life to me! I am not a believer in the "forgive and forget" rule, but I don't think one would continuously curse others for a wrongdoing committed to him/her in the [distant] past. But then, if everybody think this way, there would be no Romeo and Juliet.

I'm also in desperate need of a facial - got this really annoying zit on my face! It hurts and is probably migrating to the other side of my chin (touch wood - hopefully not), so I've been trying to eke it out. Been trying and now has been entertaining the notion of slicing open my zit and using a pair of forceps to pull it out. I'm no gory person but yes, this is one of the probable solutions I have in mind. Can't squeeze it out, can't poke it open, so I simply must wait... x__x; great.

Lastly, I read earlier this evening/dawn (while on a midnight snacking session) about this new shop in Malvern called Serum. It's interesting how they stock Aroma M's Geisha line of perfume oils; and it's interesting to see this line will become a cult hit within a couple of months, the way Kai perfume oil was earlier this year. It's interesting, too, how things change and how one predicts where the general mood and social sentiment is heading. Gincu, if you're reading this, it means the perfume I wore to So7 concert is now available for retail in Australia ^.^

Alright, enough blab. Now let's get back to MLL110. If you're facing an examination, good. It gives you some credible reasons to bear with a little bit of mess in your room ^.^; Take care!

Lord, every circumstance falls in Your hands; You make a way

Right before my eyes to see - You're the path in front of me, so...
Lead me, I'll follow wherever you go...

1 comment:

ichiro said...

Dear Mukuge san
Hello from Ichiro! Thank you very much for your visting and comment to our blog! Argatougozaimasu.
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