Sunday, January 23, 2005

Officially Missing You

Half of summer semester had just gone past the door.

About the handset, I got a medium to long-term loan for now. Yay, thanks D! ^^ Getting through a day without a mobile phone was quite nerve-wrecking. I had never thought that device would be so indispensible, especially since there was a stage when I shunned the idea of owning one. The next step to think about in this area of communications gadgetry is an upgrade, which narrows my choice to either the web-versatile Nokia 7270 or its analoguous sister Nokia 7280.

On Tuesday afternoon/evening's host training, I met Lujia. We did FA together last semester. She was a bit shocked (confused?) to see me in Melbourne, as she thought I would have proceeded to going overseas and essentially taking a gap year. Yeah, that reminds me of the whole moving-out and Ikea-shopping idea of taking a gap year. In the past three to four months my stance has changed considerably to a pointI was also at a loss of word to explain why I chose to do what I was doing. It was very confusing. It kinda reignited the interest altogether... with the exception of renewing the job-hunting session. I missed the one they held on this January's second weekend since it was interstate and uni was already starting (and packed with activities, too.)

Moving on to the next topic. I feel like an ungrateful, self-interested being. A couple of days ago I was offered a position by proxy to work back home ::points towards the north:: Quite shocking too, to sum it up. The insistence of staying here and studying art makes the whole rationally-thought, five-year life schedule goes awry. There is a sheet of paper on which I drew a vertical dividing line between 'positives' and 'negatives', then labelling the top bit with Melb and the bottom bit Indo. I am not homesick to going home up north, but I couldn't explain my reactions when I had to postpone/delay/turn down the offer. After all these uni offers, nyokap's graciousness towards me taking short courses and job offers, I still feel queasy in making a decision. I have made up my mind, yet at the mention of sweeteners (e.g. job offers) it kicks my sense of security as well. Especially with my dad getting old and no longer fit, it is a nagging question in my mind. Regardless of these, I'm still waiting for my Christmas present. There was an intention to classify it as overdue, but I believe He is always on-time: never too early, never too late. What an ungrateful girl I really am, keep asking for the world and more. Melancholy is still in my blood.

With my piggy bank progress, I make an attempt to drop some spare coins at the end of every day to fill it up with. It is growing slowly. The shopping list index plays a role in managing finances, as well as my sister's remarks that I should buy "only what you want to eat, not what is on sale." Hehehe, that is true.

OK, need to take a shower now, going to church soon. Take care! ^^

All I do is lay around, two years full of tears
From looking at your face all over
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all,
I don't know you at all.

Well, I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say, baby
Safe to say that I'm officially missin' you.

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