Invoices had just started coming in. And with such a grand example of sum one is likely to forfeit for one-time shipping, it's high time to get a courier account.
Reading contracts in Indonesian doesn't come as naturally to me.
Talk about sounding snobbish; such a fact can be 'read' in many different ways depending on the reader's state of mind. It's just because my brain finds it easier that way.
I have entertained the idea of moving in with Anne and Mag for over a year by now.
Deciding whether I would actually move away from my current residence into a new one took some time to make; once the decision had been made, the move is relatively straightforward.
The move is about to start today, and at the moment I'm waiting for my friends to come and lend me some muscle power. I'll keep you posted ^__^
This would possibly constitute the last post I write on my 23rd year of life.
As a way of improving myself, I have a few pacts I would like to make. And here they come:
Pact #1 To not delay or be late for anything
To be honest, this is a major thing to accomplish for me. Currently I am a bit short on the discipline departement, and although I always manage to pull things off on time, I would like to have less hectic moments that occur as a result of earlier delays. Plus, I don't think it's fair for me to feel cross if people turn up late when I also turn up late. I also want to have concrete follow-ups to the many things I have planned beforehand. This pact boils down to two simple reasons: more discipline for me and zero tolerance on emotional hypocrisy.
Pact #2 Stop wasting time
Living without those unproductive hours spent doing nothing much on front of a computer. Be more organised when it comes to blogsurfing on weekdays. There is not going to be enough time in this world if I spend it unproductively.
Pact #3 To first listen, then think, and speak last
Just a way to curb those 'speak first, think later' moments. I don't have a lot of them, but I wish I have none of them at all. Moreover, since my comments often have conclusive overtones, I better let others pull out their brilliant ideas (out of their hats) rather than throw mine out and have no exchange of thoughts.
Pact #4 Read more non-fashion and non-design books
Vivienne Westwood once famously remarked that if a school leaver asked her whether to study biology or fashion, she'd always say biology... "because then you will get a better understanding of life." An open mind comes from a broader understanding of life, and life does not boil down to one or two small industries; it is a melange of various aspects of life. I want to read more books about applied psychology and adolescents' education. Oh, and by the way, Dame Vivienne was a schoolteacher.
Pact #5 Be more friendly
...and consequently, make more proper friends. Make proper efforts to link people's facial images with their names (duh, and I call myself an art student?) Friends are invaluable.
Pact #6 Live healthily
No no-sleep nights, down two litres of pure water everyday, no Twix lunches, no Pringles quasi-dinners... and constantly exercise, exercise, exercise. I would grow taller this way :q and have more energy, too.
Alright, I think that's all for now... these are the goals I want to stick to for the rest of my life. Have a good day, everyone! ^__^
As for this year, and in line with the old adage "a picture is worth a thousand words", I have decided to use more pictures in my posts. What I meant by 'more pictures' is not a mere motley of hurriedly taken images, but rather what I would... share. Being someone who works in a visually demanding industry, communicating through images are of second nature, and I would like to extend this concept to my blog. To top it off, my current laptop has a MemStick slot, which means... no more the-file-transfer-system-isn't-available-to-me-today reasons. (I just have to be strict with myself, don't I.)
While on my way back from the evening French class today, I took a detour and came across weird and wonderful buildings. Buildings aside, I enjoyed the walk... and when I looked up at the sky, it was wonderfully clear and bright - it wasn't full moon but it was bright and the sky was cloudless! There was a jet plane streaking across the sky. Alright, London isn't the cleanest city I've ever lived it, but it made me think that being able to walk around safely while looking up at a clear sky with the assurance that I can have a good rest when I got back home is a huge blessing in itself.
(Oh yeah, I found the midnight blue colour simply inspiring.)
Talking about late evening walks, I have been having a couple of them in the past week or so. Yesterday I was circling the block I live in when I came across a beautiful townhouse with a cream-painted front door, lattice iron gates, a decent garden and vines crawling up its brick facade. Love it so much! ^^ Wish I was living there. I wish I will be living there. Hee hee hee...
Sometimes I have this idea that democracy may create more harm than good. The foundation of democracy is the majority's right to decide what the society would do (and ultimately, which path it would take.) To choose a decent path requires understanding the collective synergies of choosing one thing over another, whatever they may be in the future. I'm afraid a lot of us has either incomplete or no understanding of these synergies, which means quite often we only weigh one side of an argument heavily without carefully revising our assumptions and/or stereotypes. Which means... democracy may turn into a case of a blind person leading another.
I haven't had the chance to try out whipping up the ayam goreng bumbu kuning so far. I know kemiri stands for candlenut in English... but what is lengkuas anyway?? Hopefully I would still have the energy and willpower to do so at Anne's place tomorrow night... I'm going to spend my Friday night to make someone else be happy and be fed. Well, at least that's my simplistic idea of using my life to make myself feel better. This doesn't imply I'm offering dirty labour for free - I cook only when I feel like it. Don't enslave me :q
There's one thing I would like to note in relation to dreams and aspirations: dreams are a nourishment for the soul, and even though people around me would sarcastically say "dream on"... I would do so and make them (or at least try to make them) become reality. Call them morphines to my spirit, well... it isn't exactly morphine-like in nature. But yea, it makes far-off aspirations become achievable goals. Dreams are good... and they're good as long as you stop faffing around and start doing something about it! :))
Cheers and take care from a non-stereotypical person on the other side of the internet ^^
(I wish I know how to do strike-throughs on blogspot posts...)
Mi amor I'm not sure of the right words to say
Maybe these simple words will do best to best explain
What I feel in my heart
What I feel more each day
How to make you see
How to let you know
How to say, how to say I love you so
With words you understand
Words that get right through your heart
Here's the place to start
Before the last day of 2006, I have always thought that 2003 was the year I would always look back to. It's a pity I hadn't started blogging back then (this started just prior to my final exam period in 2004), but yeah... I did have the idea of blogging back then. It simply took a year for this lazy-ish bum to gather the momentum and keep a blog on a regular basis. On this note, I apologise for the meagre offering of posts I did last month >.<
2006
- made new friends with people from uni
- learning to live in somebody else's house
- moved to London
- did that MI thing (kinda liked it :p) and made friends with people I wouldn't normally come across
- quit my job... and later found out on that I do miss that feeling when my paycheck is in my bank account
- got accepted into art school
- went to Melbourne on holiday (again)
- had fun and learnt a lot of things from work
- *almost* nuked one guy dead for being ungentlemanly. Hilariously enough, now I have lost the vigor to do so
- came to term with myself
- lost the 2005 fun boss and got another one... (who was just as fun)
2005
- spent first Christmas away from my parents
- went to a fashion show for the first time (doh, and I call myself a clothes addict)
- salivated over my work colleagues' bonus pay (I was too 'new' to have passed the requisite no-bonus-pay period)
- went to Melbourne on holiday
- had fun crashing into parties in good dresses
- earned money (feels nice)
- had a wickedly fun boss at work
- had the courage to move to Jakarta
- got a job on my own! :D
- graduated...
- got offered a place in law school (later rebelled and deserted the course)
2004
- worked in PwC... yeah. And decided to stay out of the waters.
- started blogging
- watched myself going down the drain, mentally
- trashed study results
- turned into an emotional wreck
2003
- made some of life's decisions
- had fun
- had fun
- got good marks
- had fun
- had good fun
- had a good summer with my dog
- well... I just enjoyed myself, I guess
Gosh! It seemed I liked 2003 because I had fun the most. 2004 felt like it flew out of the window. I now come to the conclusion that life is what we make it to be. If you feel like smashing it on a wall, it will make you be smashed, battered and bruised. If you try to build it, it turns into your stepping stones.
When I turn old and have grandkids (and lots of time to spare), I don't want to compare one year to the others to find out that the year I'm living in is not better than a previous one. I don't want to find out that some of my years simply flew away. I simply want to live to my fullest capacities, and savour each and every moment that come by. Then, the memories of these moments will become my treasures.
Now, let's start treasure hunting (and collecting.)
Have a good 2007, everyone! ^_____^
Three little birds sat on my window
And they told me I don't need to worry
Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete
Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down
You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow
Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely
Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside (just relax, just relax!)
Don't you let those other boys fool you
Got to love that afro hair do
Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change
Don't you think it's strange?
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down
You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow
To act in a civil manner is no easy thing when one is not treated as an equal.
Sometimes I stopped wondering why there are people who don't act their age - they just exist.
One often does things based on the 'heat of the moment' and regret the decision later, when smears on relationship and reputation are near impossible to be wiped away.
But above all, I love today's song... and I'm going to do things the way they should be done.
Stop right there because I know what you're thinking
but no, we can't be friends
And even though I know your heart is breaking
this has to end
And come to think of it the blame for all of this
simply falls on me
For wanting something more in life than all of this
Oh, can't you see
So long self
Well it's been fun but I have found somebody else
So long self
There's just no room for two so you're gonna have to move
So long self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long self
Don't feel so bad
There'll be better days
Don't go wait now
Goodbye on me
Just go away, go away
So long self
Well it's been fun but I have found somebody else
So long self
There's just no room for two so you're gonna have to move
So long self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long self
Farewell, goodbye, oh so long self
The theme for my office's Christmas celebration is Don't worry, He leads me!
Somebody told me once to pray as if God is the only one who can help you and try as if you're the only one who can help you. Well, this is true. I hold onto the fact that God owns everything, which means God owns every single hair iron in this world, and nothing is too small to be out of his plan.
Funny how it is easy to criticise others, but hard to make your 'positive inputs' into a positive catalyst for others. The world is imperfect after all; we strive for the best in life, yet we think changes are too hard to be done. This means we are hypocrites after all.
It is easy to be hurt by what others do to you (either intentionally or subconsciously), but I will persevere. I pray so that we all can be a better person in life. Take care ^__^
Just a little longer I wanna pray
Can't get You out of my mind, so I came to say
Thank You Lord just for loving me
Many times as I do forget
Every need that You have met
Oh thank You Lord, I know You're showing me
You are there when I am down and out
You're holding me, Your love is so amazing
Oh it changed me
I've been working for three days now, and I'm glad I still keep my sanity intact whenever I'm driving myself to and from work. I'm also thankful God has been waking me up a couple of minutes before my alarm rings - yes, and He is telling me to go to bed now too! ^.^;
On Saturday evening, I went out to have dinner with my family. We decided to eat seafoods: my dad ordered fried fish, my mum ordered otak-otak (yum!), and I ordered mussels and a crab. Since my dad was allergic to eating crabs, my mum and I happily lapped the crab. And then... on Sunday evening, we started feeling unwell. We kinda suspect we got food poisoning from eating the crab, as my dad was the only one who was in a relatively well condition compared to both of us. Earlier in the morning, I didn't really want to go to work because of the food poisoning (went in and out and in and out of the restroom many times), but I argued with myself (get-moving-or-lose-the-job arguments) and dragged myself into work today. Luckily, I recovered. As for my mum, the last time I saw her a couple of hours ago, she was still unwell she took time off from work (which is rare.) Hopefully she'll get better by tomorrow.
Lastly, dear Ponky and Andri, thank you for the book! It's really awesome!! TTvTT Can't believe it... hehehe... thank youuuu ^^
Alright, going to bed now... take care. I've decided that I will be a civilised/courteous/well-mannered driver regardless of how silly or futile others think the effort may be. To change a society, one needs to change oneself. It's a challenging effort, but I'm sticking up with it anyway. At least I drive on my own, so when I get irritated I can always sing on top of my lungs without turning anybody else deaf ^^; Tee hee. Take care, good night, sleep well!
P. S.: I miss my Ban Ban, PK and ICM the most. My sister, you rank in later ^^ (we chat quite often anyway.) Hope you'll have better eyesight than me soon! Although I would still like to be the one with better eyesight... hehehe...
Maravillado estoy de ti
Maravillado estoy de ti
Santo Dios
De quien la gloria es
Maravillado estoy
Maravillado estoy
It often feels like I'm stuck up on a dead-end rut, and yet seconds later emerge almost unscathed.
After my graduation, weeks fly through. By this Wednesday, it would have been four weeks since *that* day. I've been doing things that can be conservatively simplified into "nothing much at all". I've been putting a considerable amount of brainpower into sketchbooks, soapmaking know-how, language lessons and law subjects (in that particular order.) That pretty much puts into perspective how I value my time ^^; erm, not well-organised, am I...
Back in high school, I have always thought to pursue art studies of some sort on a tertiary level. However, with the acceptance into my previous course, it was pretty much a dream material rather than a possibility. I am not saying that it would be better should the previous course had not happened at all; through those three years I learnt about a lot of things. Most of which cannot be gained should I chose not to go down that path back then. Apart from this fact, there are still many things to learn, which is why... I started filling my sketchbooks again. They will be of some use in the future.
It feels funny a couple of weeks ago I feel young in the sense of being one of the least-aged students to graduate, and also the youngest in the current DE pack. Yet, now I feel like being one of the oldest people to start again. Hopefully this dream is not an empty hope, after all.
Take care. This is yet to be a dead end ^.^
You paint a picture on the wall
'Cause you got a lot to tell me
But you don't think you can say it better
Oh baby
You know how many times I can't recall
I'm sure they made your point
But I just can't seem to remember
Yeah
And I know you got the feelin'
And I can't say I'm agreein'
With your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons
And the hints that I've been givin'
To the thoughts of our imagination
So come on, let me sing!
Learning to be thankful of what I have and what I do not, yet again.
Missing you. Take care.
But for Your grace, I cannot be saved
But for Your grace, I would go my way
I'm forever grateful
that You have been faithful to me, Lord
For Your amazing grace
Bad things happen. A lot.
Firstly, it's losing some tangibility over sentimental memory. I'm not sure whether I'd get it back at all. Secondly, I kinda lost a lot of my ringtones and accumulated mobile phone reasonably-important junk. Heh. Oh well. At least it gives me a reason to get a new handset :p
It feels like I'm in some sort of thick melancholic cloud lately; sometimes I just want to stop and enjoy the sun. And the wind. Actually, Melbourne Uni doesn't look that bad on a warm summer day. The maple and oak leaves are somewhat inviting to lie under on a lazy afternoon. Then a good literature book or a classical novel on my face... the smell of paper... dozing off... the smell of grass next to my cheeks... and being blanketed by the warmth of the sun.
It could still get better than this, but that was good enough for a start.
There was one and a half jar of nastar fillings in the fridge; it basically consists of fresh pineapple chunks boiled down to a mash/spread consistency in thin sugar syrup. My auntie usually brings bottles of them and makes nastar whenever she's here, but it looks like late last year she didn't do it. Anyway, it's good. I'm glad she brought it with her. I've been digging into the jars for the past couple of days and finished the half-filled one.
About the uni acceptance, I'll take it on this year. I will also do art courses along the way as this is what I really want to do ever since I was little. Even though I tried to ignore what my blood calls me to do, it worked to no avail. Besides, it's like killing a part of yourself - your talent. I really can't hold it back or else I'll go nuts. Well, this kinda makes it clear that the corporate world is very unlikely to be one I will be content to stay in.
About the art courses, I'm thinking of doing textile design. Why textile design when you have the eye to do fashion design? Well, in my opinion a fashion designer needs to know this three things to produce good clothes: how to draw/illustrate, the characteristics of fabrics used, and pattern-making. The first one is pretty much under my hand although it would be good to take a refresher course (my hand is going 'mouldy'.) Pattern-making can be done through CAD, and further fine-tuned by checking it manually. On the other hand, fabrics is like the kind of paints a painter has in her repertoire. If she has a complete range, she can do heaps. If she has a limited range, her options are limited. Well, even though one has a complete range, there are still limitations. The fun begins at breaking those technical limitations, as well as interpreting events that happen in our lives into the designs.
Art, above all, is about how well you can symbolise your experiences into various medias. The characteristic 'pleasant to look at' is certainly not ranked at number one.
This year I need to be more courageous in making decisions.
(And also, relating to the piggy bank, need to save more.)
Found myself thinking and wishful-thinking over times that have gone past. Stupid girl, those times will never come back. If I keep mourning (to put it bluntly) over one thing out of ten that has been lost, then I will lose the chance to seize the other nine. For now let's hope I can score a part-time apprenticeship at Vixen, and at the same time quit working as a salesperson.
Oh well, time to do my case studies. They are lining up >.< better finish them up real soon. Take care, and make your decisions well.
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, let me kiss you
Then close your eyes and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to live alone
About the time, that I won't have to say...
Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go.
I'm hoping I will not force myself to conform to some standards in order to be seen as okay. I'm hoping my true characters show through, whether it be sweet or displeasing to the eye.
Although acting [professionally/cutely/sickeningly/disgustingly] sweet is like my second skin, I am not a sweet girl at heart (thanks, Baku.) It's easier for me to give a sharp and acidic reply.
God help me go through this...
Got a stop-press news today, one I have been expecting for the past couple of days. Great.
(Mind you, it's an ironic expression.)
I don't know what to do, whether to confess or not to. What am I supposed to do?! OK, to streamline the decision-making task (a term so overused during the past couple of hours), the options fall under three sections: (1) tell the boss (2) don't tell the boss (3) help the involved parties make an informed decision. There are actually two decisions to make; one is involving a choice of (1) and (2), the other is whether to carry out (3) at all. So far I have been an anonymous observer in this stage. From now on I will probably lose that 'privilege'.
Tell the boss involves a lot of secret-opening, probable backstabbing, yet will shed light on what some people need to know on a fundamental basis. This may result in some sort of information leak and, in the worst cases, gossiping. I don't want to ruin anybody's reputation. Yet, I do think the boss is a suitable person to sort this out (sorry!)
Don't tell the boss involves keeping my position as an anonymous observer. I may have done the wrong thing by not helping others make an informed decision: the boss, the parties and myself. This possess a potential problem exponential/compounding function similar to that of a compounding interest formula. The only difference: put something upwards of 80% as the interest rate in order to work out the future value, then plug on chance as a determinant variable. Great.
Help the involved party makes an informed decision. What can I do... other than pull out my Pandora's box of memories? It would certainly stir things up. There is a chance of me being seen as a busybody, but I don't care much about that. The stuff that I've been through is hell, I've spent so many litres of tears on it (plus a bout of panic attacks and several months of bitter-cold hostility), and I honestly don't think it's worth that much. I don't want those, especially this particular person, to play a Russian roulette go through all those. To be frank without being condemnful, pretty much most (if not all) of the revolver chambers are loaded with bullets. The chances are not too good.
I hope they know what they are getting into, I really do. What would He want me to do? I must be attentive and give my ears to listen.
::sigh...::
Patience, after all, is worth its weight in platinum, gold and precious stones.
Shine, let them wonder what you've got
Let them wish that they were not
On the outside lookin' on
Shine, let it shine before all men
Let them see it once and then
Let them glorify the Lord.
