therefore you shall do as I like

Dear G***** employee lady,

I am sadly informing you that my hearing wasn't superhuman. Given that (1) the phone call hailed from across two seas, (2) the canteen was loudly noisy, and (3) my ears aren't exactly the most tuned on earth, it was therefore reasonable behaviour that compelled me to receive a phone call on the hallowed stairways our college shares with your workplace.

That is, unless you would rather direct me into your office to continue conducting said phone conversation. You may also alternatively choose to forego shared usage of the above-mentioned staircase and proceed to exit through your windows instead.

Oh, and since you carried food and drinks up the stairs into your office, may I mention that food items are strictly consumable within cafeteria area only? It will greatly reduce infestation issues within these premises.

Cheers.