Saturday, April 16, 2005

Seasons Come

There were several things I learnt from yesterday's sermon:
1. A tree does not get angry/upset when its fruits are taken away
2. A tree does not eat its own fruit
3. A tree does not sell its excess fruits and use the proceeds to go shopping
4. From a tree's seeds, new trees will sprout up
5. Write your life plan in pencil.

Why do these five points hit me? Here are the relations between my life and those words of wisdom.

This is something I am still learning. I conceptually understand the point of giving up, but not living it for real. There were some occasions I suspected I was happy to give up what I have because they would do some credits to my name, instead of being honestly willing to give it up for the greater good.

I should not take unfair advantage of what I have, otherwise this means I don't do #1 (hey, they all are related.) And yes, that includes my skills and talents. Just to drill on what 'unfair advantage' means, it's when you use what you have to move others/change circumstances as you would a pawn.

To be honest, I don't quite get how this point relates to real life. Nevertheless, it stays true in its literal context. I find myself doing acts of kindness quite often in exchange of something else.

Seeing some works in progress, but yet to see trees. Or have I really? o.0 I wonder.

I am [re-]learning to write my life plan in pencil. There were some out-of-mind things I dreamt of doing; I took some steps to usher these into reality, then consequently dropped them off when I learnt I was not being given the approval and support I yearned for. When these came into light for the second time, I am excited to burrow myself in the idea, yet I was afraid of being opposed/not approved/'wrong' for the second time. I do not have the eraser of life. Pencil marks pick up the paper's grains, which means working out what I can do most well of, instead of whining.

I got an invitation to do an entrance test for a corporate position this Thursday. It is what my parents wanted, it definitely satisfies the approval factor, but I am not sure whether working in the corporate world is the best way of life for me. I will do it well regardless of these issues because I love getting good marks on tests ^.^ and this will serve as a check-up point. Probably as a signpost and starting-point, too.

How could somebody be so stupid to not realise what one has when it was on hand, but was desperate to gain it back? Such is human nature, and that is my trait as well. Sigh 9__9;

Ah, enough blab. This must be alcohol-induced!! Erm, probably not. There are a lot of things I would like to express, but I am no wordsmith when it comes to self-expression. Hence this. By the way, we went to dinner and TGIF after xcell this evening, and apparently this entails drinking cocktails. Ultimate Hawaiian Volcano was nice! Guiness was bitter! When the bartender did the cocktail, I kinda froze when I saw the amount of liqueur he threw into the shaker... and more liqueur went in... followed by two to three times that amount in fruit juices. Phew. I thought I was about to sting my kidneys into malfunction.

Alright, good night everybody. There is a long week ahead 6__6 the temperature's a bit low, and a warmed-up bed is enticing me away from this. Heh heh heh. Take care, and have a good Sunday ^^

Seasons come and seasons go
Sun will shine and flowers grow
Winters come, and my heart's yours
For I will never leave you
For I will never leave you alone

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