(what would you do...)

...if you were a minister of Women's Affairs in Indonesia?

My answer last year was "to assure women that their gender difference [to men] is irrelevant when it comes to measuring themselves against men, as women are men are different yet they are equals."

I want to make a difference and contributes substantially into whatever 'good' people around me may need. If holding a ministerial spot is what entails my desire, then I would take it on. The problem with such delegated power/responsibility is the factional politics any civil servant in a ministerial post would be thrown into. I am not keen on participating in factional squabbles when there are things other than vote-chasing to do. I'm not saying that voters' support is unimportant; I just believe that you would do what you're passionate about regardless of how much support you can gather. Well... when there is a will, there is a way.

Since I'm a gourmand and food plays an important part in life, [hypothetically speaking] I would encourage home businesses to harness the climate and create nutritional food of good quality. In specific, that would entail tempeh production. On a lesser note, Fresh & Wild in SoHo sells tempeh (£1.99/cake) but the fermentation is somewhat stunted due to Britain's erratic weather, resulting in dismal-looking tempeh cakes with minimum spores covering their sides. I still crave for the soft and white cakey-looking stuff peddled by tukang sayur on Jakarta's streetsides. In the meantime, I'm getting my soya-based protein fix from nattō, miso soup and soya milk.

I understand that polished white rice is ubiquitous to today's Indonesian diet, thanks to who meneers who elevated its status as "the food to eat everyday". Indonesians' obsession to polished white rice is akin to that of the French's on fresh baguettes. Polished white rice is packed with energy... and nothing much apart from sugar. Also, meats from domesticated stock animals are seen as desirable foodstuffs on the dinner table. I bet my love of red meat *must* have been influenced by this general view that "the meatier the dinner is, the better".

On the other hand, I'm lucky to have parents who provide me with consistent examples of good nutritional habits. My love of vegetables stems from oh-so-boring red bean soup with beef and veg (I tend to fish ALL the tomatoes and carrots.) When I was little, my mum used to make her own soya milk, to which almost no sugar is added. Even today the house remains largely MSG-free and sodium-deprived, although mbak Parni could easily produce a huge chunk of salt from the kitchen if you asked her for it. When I started working at AAB, my workmates were suprised to discover I looked forward to ordering stirfried kangkong and snacked on fried tempeh on lunchtimes, as opposed to spag bol.

My point is, a weekly serving of fish and lean red meat is good for your health, but you can get your protein fix from the so-called kampong foods by which tempeh and tofu are often derogatorily referred to. Mind you, bodybuilders here often jostle for these kampong foods due to their high protein content! Plus, tempeh also increases your immunity. For those living in Indonesia, looking good and feeling great has never been so affordable - just go to your neighbourhood's tukang sayur to get your hands on tempeh and tofu.

Oh my, I'm speaking on behalf of the association of tukang sayur se-Indonesia (if there is one) - if you're not enticed enough to eat tempeh and tofu, buy them to give these peddlers some good, ol' fashioned honest profit!

Finally, back to this post's title... if I were a minister:

I would make good tempeh and promote it to all corners of the world.

I shall be known as the designer with a passion for tempeh. As simple as that.

Here I rest my case ^__^ Have a good day!

Samba do Soho

Honestly, what I went through today was not as pleasant as the above-mentioned song sounds like. The song is idyllic, beachy and holiday-ish in feel; whereas words like 'horrendous' and 'nightmare' didn't convey enough what I went through. If I could have killed my sewing machine, I probably would have. The zig-zag stitch setting often skipped, which caused me to unpick the topstitching seams many times, and they left holes on my beautiful pair of leather shorts. GOSH!! Talk about having to eat my heart out. I cried when I unpicked the stitches and tried re-aligning the needles into existing 'holes'... 'holes' on leather just don't look right at all they made me feel like a failure. I was at my nerves' end when, with only five centimetres of unstitched line on one side, the machine refused to budge. Because I didn't want to have anything more to do with mechanical failures and skipped stitches, I pulled out the thread and started doing the zig-zags by hand, while telling myself that I'd get rid of the machine once the fashion show is over. I'm going to trade it in for a more stable and powerful one.

Anne said I was stressed. KY offered his help to get rid of the machine. I was so distraught I decided to cook dinner instead... and a good dinner did I make.

I tend to release stress in funny ways. People scream, get destructive, do sport, go out and club, or sleep... I iron clothes, vacuum clean the floor or cook. There were moments back in my Camberwell days when, after a fight with my sister, I would stomp my way to the laundry room and started ironing my school shirts (which is pointless since they were made from crease-free fabric) or the bedsheets (also pointless as I would sleep on them and crease on them within 30 minutes). I feel there are more productive ways to express your frustration other than smashing glasses, ripping clothes apart and burning cigarette ends. If I were pissed because of a problem, making myself run out of plates or turning myself into smoked meat wouldn't make the problem go away. There must be something productive you can do!

And for now, I'm glad I didn't bash up sewing machines. My hands would have hurt badly if I did so, and I would've missed that elusive cashback. I am glad my cooking fed me well, and also made others well-nourished and happy. Tomorrow is another long day with its lump of stressful tasks, but that's another story for tomorrow. Now all I need to do is smile myself to sleep.

Take care, everyone!

When I walk around Soho
I remember gambowa
There's a feeling, there's a beat
That hacks me like a boa

Walking by the darks
Donga made a samba
In the rhythm of the people
From Angola, from Rwanda

Suffering the longing, the wonderful dilemma
Falling in the trap of the beautiful morena
Oh it feels so good, kissing you in the cinema
Now we're getting down in Soho
Send those pizza no problema

Stand in the Rain

Two more subjects down - which means there is only one left to do. Whoopee!!

The fashion show is taking place next Thursday. With my outfit, I decided to line the trousers as well as parts of the blouse. My late decision translates into extra work, which is fine anyway since I would like to wear them anyway (hence the extra bit of work for my love of couture finishing).

I haven't got much to report about, apart from the fact that I have managed to successfully sew leather and silk together. They may probably be the most unpleasant things to sew together, as they tend to shift and slide away, and consequently giving me a harder time on the sewing machine. Also, my sewing machine turned out to be not powerful enough to jab through two layers of leather. If only my machine was as nice as KY's... yeah, here we go again, the grass is always greener on the other side (that's just human nature.)

Alright, it's much-deserved (and long-awaited) bed time for me, so have a good day everyone! ^__^

She never slows down
She doesn't know why
But she knows that when she's all alone
It feels like its all coming down

She won't turn around
The shadows are long
And she fears if she cries that first tear
The tears will not stop raining down

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when its all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day what lost can be found
You stand in the rain

(just for fun...)

[A is for age] 22... still got days to go :D
[B is for booze of choice] meh. Free champagne, courtesy of KY (ambience was good, booze was plentiful, me not trashed - couldn't ask for more.)
[C is for career] designer: poor and broke most of the time, but still manages to glam bi-annually.
[D is for your most dreaded] maggots. Super yikes.
[E is for essential item you use everyday] Soap, moisturiser and sunscreen.
[F is for favorite song at the moment] Endless Story by Yuna Ito.
[G is for favorite games] seeing from the clocked hours, it must be websudoku.
[H is for hometown] Jakarta... more specifically, Sunter.
[I is for indulgence] anything that constitutes conspicuous consumption to make myself feel normal.
[J is for favorite flavor of juice] ...does soya milk constitute juice? It comes from a pressed vegetarian food item (soya beans) after all.
[K is for kids] zilch. At least not now.
[L is for last hug from husband] zilch too, even louder since I have no 'other half'.
[M is for years of marriage] zilch...
[N is for name of your crush] hah, there are too many good-looking guys in this world to make me name one.
[O is for overnight hospital stays] nein...
[P is for phobias] forgetting to lock the house door, and not having enough fuel in the gas tank.
[Q is for quote] To be adventurous is to be ready for everything unexpected.
[R is for regret] got some, but I'm not willing to blot them out after all. They make good lessons and motivators.
[S is for status, married or single] totally single :D
[T is for time you wake up] 8AM
[U is for underwear] decent, clean and VPL-free.
[V is for vegetables you love] almost all of those boring ones - bring them on! ^.^
[W is for worst habit] delays, delays, delays.
[X is for x-rays you’ve had] got so many of them... most were done to see what's inside my chest (doh, blood and organs for sure.)
[Y is for yummy food you make] asian-influenced main meals, savoury pies, homemade finger foods and desserts.
[Z is for zodiac sign] a Geminized Rat, according to the two major zodiac schools of this world.

I feel compelled to tag people on my ramblings list... heee :p If your name is not on the list, you can post one too if you want to ^__^

Have a good day!

(who is the fairest of all?)

If anyone has got the interests and dosh to attend this year's Miss Universe finals night in Mexico City, the tickets are available on sale from Ticketmasters. Tickets are also available for, surprisingly, the presentation show and dress rehearsal. I shouldn't really be surprised (having been through one), but for dress rehearsal... I guess there is always a market for seeing an army of beauties strutting their stuff on the catwalk, even if it's only for dress rehearsal.

By the way, my bets are with these beautiful ladies:
Inga Skaya (Canada)
Eshan Hatem el Kirdany (Egypt)
Flaviana Matata (Tanzania)
Zaklina Sojic (Denmark)
Stephanie Winter (Antiqua & Barbuda)
Angelina Glass (Germany)
Trinere Lynes (Bahamas)
Riyo Mori (Japan)
Honey Lee (Korea)
If you asked me how I came to these conclusion, it was because I simply browsed through their interview answers. I didn't pay much attention to how they look... simply because they're guaranteed to look good anyway. Hee hee ^__^

Gosh, these people better pay me for giving a free ad. Too bad I've got school going on, otherwise I would've jetted my way to Mexico to watch...

Mucha Muchacha

I am very, very happy with today's progress of work.

The submission deadline is looming on the horizon. Given the fact that everybody in my program must play a part in creating a magazine, I volunteered to do a styling and shoot. Not one, two: food and fashion (yeah, great.)

Much of the drama lie on finding the right model, making sure she fits into the clothes without ripping the seams... and checking whether she's got those elusive magnetic eyes. I didn't make things easier by demanding that she should have a certain gutsy look. By Tuesday evening I was practically desperate for anyone who would look okay with the clothes I've got. Lucky lucky, friends at church referred me to this wonderful girl - not only she's got a good body and a nice-to-look-at face, she's got a great personality too. And the cherry on top of the cake is she's no blonde bimbo: she's into sports. In my opinion, she's definitely giving Nadine Chandrawinata a run on her money.


Despite the drama, I found working as a fashion stylist to be a nerve-racking experience. It was akin to what I usually go through on church productions in Melbourne. This time around, the difference was that my sister wasn't around to do the makeup, so I had to do literally everything myself: scouting, make-up and hair, photographic set-up, dressing and coaxing poses out of the model. I kept stuttering many times because I had so many things I had to take care of at the same time. Imagine directing what a model should do while trying to get the light meter reading correct! Having six arms and four legs would definitely help, although I have no idea what I'd look like with those extra limbs. Lucky I wasn't the model, or I might as well just clone myself ^^;

When it comes to creating imagery, I prefer to set a high standard on myself. I was quite surprised that I liked the images I took, even though they were remotely reminiscent of the fairy-tale quality I was originally striving to achieve. I'm also glad my team members liked it (especially the editor guy), which means there is no need to redo any of them. Phew ^.^

Now that the fashion photo shoot is done, I only need to do another photo shoot for my magazine project. Thank God it's food, it wouldn't need any make-up on it ^o^

As for this weekend, Anne's kitchen is going to be turned into a sweatshop... and I'll be one of the underpaid/overworked workers labouring away in it. So yeah, so long and take care... :))

Might Have Been Her

I simply feel compelled to post this photo and the lyrics.
Have a good day :))

Everything I know
Tells me she's everything
That I could hope for
Everything I know
Tells me I can't let her walk away

I took my time to find the words
I hope she'd feel the same

'Cause I want someone to share my smile
To share my pain
To be there when the sea turns gray
To share the joy
For better or worse
And I thought it might have been her
I thought that it might have been her

Wonder if she knows
The way I saw her soul
Light up my life
Wonder if she knows
of the pain I feel tonight

Movin' On Without You

Eto, an ex co-worker, recently made a comment on my age: "how could you still be 22?" ^__^ (answer is at end of post.)

Turning 22 could possibly be one of the less remarkable birthday occasion in my years of existence, the day being outshone by grander celebrations in the years past (the other 'shady' celebration was when I turned 14, but that wasn't too much of a big deal.)

On my 22nd birthday, my sister remarked that 22 was "past the point of cute and heading towards wrinkles". Well, posing like this will give you instant wrinkles. And Anne would kill me for this ^.^;


Last year I went to work like usual, albeit stashed with hundreds of panada to share with co-workers. Went back home with G in tow because it was a rainy evening. Was originally asked by mum to join her in Bandung while she was on an office outing, but dad couldn't manage to get bus tickets for me, hence the three of us (me, dad and granny) went to have a little celebratory dinner at Sinar Medan. We ordered about four dishes for three people: I wanted Ompung (my gran) to eat things she can chew on, my dad was keen on the spareribs and I had my eyes on steamed fish. I didn't ask my dad to bring his fancy camera, so my birthday shots were taken with his camera phone. Finally, my mum called the following day, and half-scolded me for not reminding her of my birthday (really, it wasn't such a big deal ^.^ )

With my birthday approaching, I keep thinking of what I can do in the coming year, and how the things I do will affect people around me. I've got a picnic party plan, but in the next three weeks it wouldn't be the major thing I fuss myself with. The older I get, the more aware of risks I am, and the more being reckless become a challenge. I don't like making mistakes, but I don't want my life to be perfectly still either, hence my desire to have more adventurous and harmlessly reckless moments in life.

In the realm of birthdays, my dad is celebrating his 58 years today. He's a busy man with a lot of responsibilities in hand, yet I still hope he'd tend to his blog more often. After all, there is still an 80-year-old man vlogging on youtube, so old age isn't a reasonable excuse for being informatically behind ^^

By the way, I learnt how to make cookies without recipes from Anne yesterday. It's relaxing to make cookies and have a good time to talk while waiting for the cookies to be ready. I'm not allowed to use the oven where I live, and it's a bit of a bother because I love feeding people with cakes and desserts. As for learning how to make good-tasting cakes without any recipe, my mum taught me that back in Melbourne. It happened when we needed to do something with a bag of over-ripen bananas, hence the tendency of me bringing banana bread or banana cakes to uni. I'm glad my friends liked them ^o^

On a more minor note, I have included a shoutbox in this blog, a long-overdue feature requested by tiny and scarlet at least two years back. Everyone is welcome to post things on it, as long as they're not of an advertising or commercial nature. Otherwise... so sorry to say they'd be deleted, pronto D:

As the story went, being 22 was more lively than turning 22... partly because the birthday lasted for a day and the particular age lasts for 365. And to eto, I'm still 22... because it takes me a year to turn 23 ^__^

Next project: learning Mandarin Chinese and Japanese, yay!

Take care :))

Tomadoi-nagara demo ii kara
Ai shite hoshii
Sonna koto iwanakute mo
Wakatte hoshii no ni

Setsunaku naru hazu ja nakatta no ni
Doushite
Ii onna enjiru no wa
Mada haya-sugiru ka na

Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?

Please don't take me wrong. My life is good; I don't have to shed blood and tears to cruise through it quite nicely. I still finish things I need to do on time. Even better, I went to an evening talk at school and made contacts with several up-and-coming designers who have had quite a bit of experience and are crème de la crème of their peers. To top it off, one was quite open-minded about having me on his team for summer placement. Yet, at the end of the day, I feel like rubbish.

Probably I should play the blame game and point the finger at the toxins pulsing through my veins after having less than 10 hours of sleep in the past two or three days. I eat healthily and drink gallons of water to help my body flush the toxins, but my brain is just crying out for sleep.

Funnily enough, despite the pressures my physical body is going through, I still managed to have a good day's class and did a lot of productive things... picking up garments for a photo shoot from Anne's place being one of them. I appreciate how good the weather was in the afternoon, and I was glad the Painting class was held outdoors today. The weather was rather chilly to start things off with, but it gradually warmed as students were absorbed into doing their works. I even managed to take copious shots of painting en plein air because the ambient lighting was so good it made my camera phone's meagre eye for detail seem like it has some photographic prowess.

There are long-term major problems I still need to deal with. The sunlight didn't make problems disappear or solve them... but I guess at the end of the day fresh air and some sunlight help cheer your heart and make your day. So yeah, I'm glad for it ^__^

By the way, I'm really sorry for not paying more attention on yesterday's post. I accidentally clicked the comments feature off, and just realised about it when I was about to start doing this post. So yeah, you are actually free to comment on anything... so sorry, my bad after all :s

Hope you have a good day... take care! :))

Why does my heart feel so bad?

A Thousand Miles

I managed to finish the freelance project on time. Phew! Talk about rushing with deadlines.

To be honest, I was quite happy when my supervisor asked me what I was planning to do in summer. I simply said that I would love to work for a designer full-time during summer, and would love to do it in Australia so that I can avoid the summer heatwaves, but there has been no definite offers made from down under as of yesterday. I would love to be offered a full-time summer placement with L&F, but working at Maticevski would be the dream summer job... at least for this year.

The question now is, why Maticevski?

It all began on a sunny spring morning, four years back. I was on my way to uni, and the industry down under was abuzz with a new designer's reputedly unwearable dresses (even J-Lo's daringly plunging Versace dress was put to shame.) Now please bear in mind that I read the catwalk reports in my old uni days, and I disliked him for making things that were deemed unwearable. However, something happened. As I was walking out of Flinders Street station that fateful day, I looked up and saw on a billboard something I instantly recognised. It was the skirt I knew I would one day own... although I decided that I shouldn't, for my own financial health, buy it at full retail price. Three years and two near-misses later, I managed to get my hands on it.

The fact that he was one of the three Australians interviewed for a certain internationally acclaimed fashion reference book didn't help subdue my interests in finding out how a guy who could flatly refuse a permanent placement in Donna Karan for whatever reason he gave. So how the hell does he think anyway?? o__O;>

Just like KY is a confessed sucker for Gucci and my sister for Alannah Hill, so I am sold to Maticevski. It's a bit like deciding which law firm you'd love to work for, after all ^__^

By the way, after months of hunting high and low for the above-mentioned designer's Melbourne address, I think I may have found it. Fingers crossed as I'm giving it a good try - I'd love to work for him! :D

Also, I had a haircut today. It was so refreshing and I subsequently had a narcissistic bout, so I just had to take lots of pictures of myself! ^^; I've posted the relevant pictures on flickr, if you're interested to have a look at them.

Take care and have a good day!

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

(mayday, mayday)

Today (yesterday) was supposed to be May Day. I wonder whether the tradition of dancing and wrapping ribbons around a Maypole still exists in England...

The fact that this post is made quite early in the morning is a result of working. As I have previously mentioned, there are still a few hours left for me to submit a proposal... and the details were only clarified on Monday morning. 3AM is such an ungodly hour to toil and labour in; I'd rather close my eyes and doze off into the dreamland if I have an army of tech-savvy leprechauns to help me out with my work. I've done general ideas and sketches, and now I need to make some sort of computer-generated rendering of what I meant... oh gosh... I wish I could've used watercolour in this project!! (that'll be SOOO MUCH EASIER for me.) So yeah... here comes my distress signal.

I want to sleep, anyway... I'm gonna go to sleep and wake up two hours' time, however hard that may be. My heart right now is on the pillows and not on the Illustrator ^__^;