Take My Life (once more)

I can't sleep right now, and it's nearly four A.M., Singapore time. My interview's at 9:30.

It's not because I still need to type up a brief statement to support my application. It's not because I think my portfolio is dated and rather sucks. I'm feeling helpless, and there is little anyone can do about it.

Tried everything to fall asleep from around 10:30PM yesterday. Tried talking, chatting, body-language talking, walking around my friend's apartment, three (or four) sleeping styles, sweating myself to sleep, cooling myself to sleep, drinking water, singing...

(Well, by now you'll kind of work out little works. Managed to sleep from 1:30 to 3AM.)

The humidity is giving my sinus a workout. I feel a bit depressed to see columns of high-density buildings surrounding my temporary abode today, and very little green patch to see in the vicinity. When I went to Raffles Hotel earlier, it was perfect! I love courtyard gardens... must make sure I have lots of greeneries in my home in the future ^__^ can't live without gardens. Can't live without singing on top of my lungs, be it in the car during a traffic jam or in my room at night. For my parents, well... this is why I object to work in Singapore: I simply wouldn't have a proper outlet to channel and melt my stress away. This is why I don't want to live in apartments in general ^^;

As for the nervousness, I'm in an up-to-You,-God state of mind. Just hoping that I'll have enough sleep to face Sunday's onslaught (a song leader once more), and the following three business days. Just hoping Thursday will be a good and effective rest and catch-up day. Just hoping to be able to breathe well.

I'm not consistent, but God is. Readers and friends (and myself), remember: when you are at your lowest point and crave for affection, God is hugging you. He loves you no matter what, when or how... even if you don't like it. (A very persistent lover indeed ^^) I pray so that we all may learn that we share our burdens together in the walk of life.

With thoughts, take care.

How many times have I turned away?
The number is the same as the stars in the sky
And every time You've taken me back
And now I pray You'll do it tonight

Please take from me my life when I don't have the strength
To give it away to You
Please take from my my life when I don't have the strength
To give it away to Jesus

Take My Life

It is quite annoying to be assigned the figurehead role. Everybody pretends you're in control when in fact you're just a vice for other politically-charged interests. Sometimes it's just way better to keep my mouth shut after being dismissed a couple of times in a row. It is disappointing, and a joke too, considering that my name is emblazoned on it.

There was this money-grabbing scheme that I came across today. When I was out for lunch, somebody from home called to let me know that my dad was at a hospital (a dodgy one to start off with - I personally thought he would've been sent to a more exclusive one.) So I tried calling the 'doctor' anyway, to no avail. A short moment later, somebody from home called to confirm that my dad was fine and he was at the office, which prompted me to call him right away since his mobile phone was switched off (his mobile is quite sturdy anyway, if he really got hit by something it would still be intact and running well.) To cut things short, I tried following the scammer's game but was either too hot-headed or too cool-headed for him. Oh well, I wish my dad hadn't told me to scare the guy away. I wished I'd tricked him and caught him and sent him to jail instead :(( boo hoo...

Tomorrow I'm having a small dental operation to remove a wisdom tooth. I'm going to the dentist tonight for a consultation session. It's a bit daunting to go through an operation I guess... hopefully things will fall out alright and I will be able to give a decent presentation on Monday ^.^; Oh well.

Finally, I took this nice picture of the sunset last night. To be honest, I'm a bit lazy to upload it to this site ^^; plus the connection at the office sucks too, so I better wait until I get home later on tonight. Take care! ^^

How many times have I turned away?
The memory's the same as the sand in the shore
But every time You've taken me back
and now I pray You'll do it once more

What am I to you?

Argh! Work is not yet finished. This is no time to slow down in preparing the portfolio...

(...but I still take some time to type up this blog. Geez, what a sloth this girl is.)

I got a challenge from my boss earlier: define your image. He noticed I collected attractive-looking presentation templates and asked whether I have time to make one for myself. He also noticed my e-mail signature... a very personalised signature indeed. I'm yet to see a signature in this office that is a miniature demi-artwork in itself. I've been reading some bits from my own blog to find out more about myself. Some things I've published are funny, some are stupid, and some give a harsh reminder of life's lessons. But yes, what my boss said earlier bothers me: how do I define myself?

There's also this funny/aesthetically balanced picture I took yesterday. To the left corner, my boss. To the right corner, my work colleague (is this a boxing fight or what?!) They both have an affinity towards effervescent supplements tablets. Anyway, the lighting sucked but the composition was good. When I tried to take it the second time, they moved. Oh well, they weren't paid to be life models. Here goes the picture:

On the topic of something I search for, I may well have found it (I didn't expect it.) God sure is creative, and He makes sure He is known that way ^__^ It's good to stop asking and to live in accord with your values.

It will be Tata's 22nd birthday tomorrow (or the day after on the other side of the Pacific), so an early happy birthday greeting to you, my dear friend ^^ I do miss you.

I'm about to go to Singapore for open day this weekend, and have a presentation on the coming Monday (this happened the last time around, with Basic PM.) What should I do?? Work hard and manage smart, of course! Cheers ^^;

What am I to you?
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Fast as you can be
and deep the shade of blue

When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See, I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so.