Smile Like Mona Lisa

I just have a feeling I'm turning this blog into some sort of crabpatorium (excuse me.)

The plums we brought from Clayton has been sitting around in the kitchen for quite some time now. It will be necessary to juice most of them later on today, in order to prevent it from wasting away.

The importance of art lessons are becoming more prominent nowadays. When you see a picture, you tend to go for the 'big building blocks' while mostly skipping the 'little narrative details'. Let's do an example... OK, take a digital picture with the main subject focused on the foreground and distant crowds in the background. Seeing the foreground, you can work out that this main subject is doing something for sure. However, when you pay attention to the crowds in the background, you will most often find raw expressions that refer back to the main subject. For example, if you see a smiling person as the main subject on the foreground and a sneering crowd at the back, you will come to the conclusion this person may not be well-liked among the crowd. This is because there is some sort of psychological factors regressed into the whole picture. Don't ask me about the detailed technicalities as I am not trained in psychology.

(JYG, if you dare moot me on this, I will do a thorough character asassination on you.)

OK, this blog's getting a bit theoretical. Let's move on to another area.

I wonder what happened with Union House earlier today; it was so quiet. To be honest, there aren't many places where I can go to ask for SS (SS here is not the one referred to in Holocaust history; just my own abbreviation.) Basically I need to refer back to the rhinoceros-thick skin I utilised back in 2001. Oh my goodness, I also keep forgetting to bring my mobile to uni even though someone was kind enough to let me borrow his as a replacement. It might be because of its indistinctive colour (my previous one was aqua green) I happen to miss it frequently.

To be honest, I'm annoyed with Ale due to ignorance. Or should I say it is heavily due to some other factors like lack of respect or a liking to hide-and-seek games? Probably it's more like Scav Hunt nowadays. (It might be fun to join Scav Hunt this year, but unfortunately I won't be at Melbourne for now - sob!) My auntie's in here too, but I don't know whether I should say thanks or not on this; It's a delicate affair. I'm happy with Monce's presence in here but still hoping that it would be minus the ciggies. Hopefully he'll ditch them by the end of this year. And hopefully he won't get into any sort of relationship deviations this time around... hahaha... who am I to control his heart? Even if I control his eyes, it won't translate to faithfulness to the heart.

Lastly, the pictures I ordered from Freeze Frame still looked BAD. Oh well, this means I would need to scan the 10-inch copy and shrink it to a wallet-sized, 350dpi resolution file before printing it.

By the way, I've got less than 71 hours to lap up two assignments. Sorry, gotta rush! Take a good care of yourself ^^

So when you smile like Mona Lisa
my heart falls to pieces
'Cause smiling just can't hide
all the sadness in your eyes
If I could only hold you
Love you like I used to
But girl, what can I do
when you smile like Mona Lisa

Oh, I carry a photograph
Girl of the way she used to be...

Lover of My Soul

The past few days have been quite hectic.

After all, Deakin is such a nice campus. It was surprising to see people in position who have a genuine willingness to help you out! I also managed to get my student ID, which was beautifully done (Melbourne Uni will probably never beat it.) Unfortunately, as I was an off-campus student, it makes me ineligible to claim concessions for public transport - doh! What makes it more tragic is because this year is the first year tertiary concession cards are priced at $8 each.

The only problem I had with the younger mature-age entry students are that they drink. A LOT. And they did this exercise in a rowdy way, too...

In the past few days, I am learning firsthand that (1) human life is fragile, and (2) we have no control over how we end our days. Just as an off-side, suicide attempts can still go 'unaccomplished'. It is easy for one to say he/she will commit his/her life to how God plans it to be, but hard to carry the commitment out. Mind-boggling is the task believing in God, as it cannot be explained by a rational mind. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and wait.

Really, really want to paint and etch.

I love You, I need You
Though my world may fall, I'll never let You go
My Saviour, My closest Friend
I will worship You until the very end.

Terbang

Today I went to the house on Kanooka, in Clayton, to check on the installed locks. They were fine. Apart from that, we (me and my sister) had a good time harvesting stone fruits from the back garden: nectarines, apples and plums. We brought home so many of them the kitchen now has a sweet smell of fruits. It's really nice! If only smell 'recorders' and re-players' exist... well, I have to admit the garden looked like the Garden of Eden, with the exception of the withering lemon tree. Poor lemon tree... I persuaded Poink to come back there sometime this week when the sun has set, so that we can water the garden and put some mulch. Looking at the garden, it was so relaxing. It definitely should be looked after even when the boarders are filling up the rooms; it's a pity if next summer the harvest would not come. I definitely have to look after it, or else hire someone to tend the garden once every fortnight.

I have also read The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. It's apparently a really famous book hence there is no need to put hyperlinks on it. The content was not very surprising (if not giving some interesting insights), given that I have read about some of Da Vinci's findings in art classes. The Mona Lisa definitely did not come as a surpise to me, as it was executed in the same style (minus the sfumato) with Cecilia Gallerani's portrait. I was not surprised with the size of Mona Lisa as well, since I have read and seen it firsthand - it is a true case of "size does not matter". Tiepolo's Cleopatra's Banquet (kept at the National Gallery of Victoria) is over 2.5 metres in height and occupies an area of almost nine square metres; however, it is not as famous as the Mona Lisa.

Besides that, I do not really agree with the generalisation people usually assume upon reading the book. I agree that men and women are equals - not the same, but equals. Yes, I am aware of the existence of the Gnostic Gospels (haven't read them though). Yes, I am aware of what Constantine did in the past. However, if God can manage tsunamis and resurrect people, He surely can manage book publications well - especially the one relating to His own Word. I believe whatever He decided not to mention in the Bible I have in my hands right now is simply because they are of lesser importance to my spiritual growth, and decided that I should know it later on, as in when I have some knowledge of the Word. It is easy to get your trust mixed up... which is why I say to those who are reading the book: if you know what you are reading, you will be fine.

Which makes a bit of a problem... as Rez is about to read it. (Probably it is not my problem, but I am still worried nonetheless.)

Doing art has its own advantages. Sure, you get your fingers dirty and you meddle around in dangerous chemicals all day long, but you also learn to critically appreciate what others do. Even three years is not enough, contrary to what most conservative Asian mid-aged population members think. Seeing deeper than the lines and colours are what art students learn in classes. So when someone tell me studying art is useless activity, don't be surprised if I threw a passionate half-rage testimony of what art studies actually are. Art is not skin deep.

I was also trying to draw this line between the word 'art' and the ancient English form of the second-person verb of 'be' (as known as 'are')... which is 'art'. There must be a link between one's current circumstances and his/her subsequent expressions, which are apparently influenced by the circumstances themselves. Proactive individuals exist, but all of us are reactive in nature.

Today, like yesterday, is really hot. Right now I smell of sweat (yikes!) I miss the near 24/7 air-conditioning environment of Indonesia. This longing may explain today's choice of song. Probably a lot of people will complain, "but it is Indonesian!" Well, if Italian songs (which are obviously non-English) can make their appearance here, why not Indonesian ones too? We often talk about 'being fair' while specifically discriminating certain groups. I'm not trying to be some Western-educated, refined FOB here; just trying to be just..

I'm saving up well with the piggy bank lately. Keeps trying to pay with notes so that I get some loose change and bank them at night. Trying not to rely on plastics, and putting a hard brake on eBay. Boy, it's hard! Hopefully these good habits will develop well :p

Seems like I'm getting sappy by the day; is it only my feelings or is it really happening? To satisfy your curiosity, I have eight chapters to lap off by tomorrow; there's no more comment then. Since the water pipes are getting fixed and will be ready by midnight, I will have to delay taking an extra shower till past midnight. Oh well, past midnight is good enough ^^ Take care!

I feel like dancing.

Terbayang yang terindah
Yang terhampar, berlalulah
Sadarku semuanya
Perasaan rasa cinta

Kaulah yang diinginkan aku
Dari mimpiku, dari mimpiku
Coba terbangkan khayalku
Dari sadarku, dari sadarku...

Officially Missing You

Half of summer semester had just gone past the door.

About the handset, I got a medium to long-term loan for now. Yay, thanks D! ^^ Getting through a day without a mobile phone was quite nerve-wrecking. I had never thought that device would be so indispensible, especially since there was a stage when I shunned the idea of owning one. The next step to think about in this area of communications gadgetry is an upgrade, which narrows my choice to either the web-versatile Nokia 7270 or its analoguous sister Nokia 7280.

On Tuesday afternoon/evening's host training, I met Lujia. We did FA together last semester. She was a bit shocked (confused?) to see me in Melbourne, as she thought I would have proceeded to going overseas and essentially taking a gap year. Yeah, that reminds me of the whole moving-out and Ikea-shopping idea of taking a gap year. In the past three to four months my stance has changed considerably to a pointI was also at a loss of word to explain why I chose to do what I was doing. It was very confusing. It kinda reignited the interest altogether... with the exception of renewing the job-hunting session. I missed the one they held on this January's second weekend since it was interstate and uni was already starting (and packed with activities, too.)

Moving on to the next topic. I feel like an ungrateful, self-interested being. A couple of days ago I was offered a position by proxy to work back home ::points towards the north:: Quite shocking too, to sum it up. The insistence of staying here and studying art makes the whole rationally-thought, five-year life schedule goes awry. There is a sheet of paper on which I drew a vertical dividing line between 'positives' and 'negatives', then labelling the top bit with Melb and the bottom bit Indo. I am not homesick to going home up north, but I couldn't explain my reactions when I had to postpone/delay/turn down the offer. After all these uni offers, nyokap's graciousness towards me taking short courses and job offers, I still feel queasy in making a decision. I have made up my mind, yet at the mention of sweeteners (e.g. job offers) it kicks my sense of security as well. Especially with my dad getting old and no longer fit, it is a nagging question in my mind. Regardless of these, I'm still waiting for my Christmas present. There was an intention to classify it as overdue, but I believe He is always on-time: never too early, never too late. What an ungrateful girl I really am, keep asking for the world and more. Melancholy is still in my blood.

With my piggy bank progress, I make an attempt to drop some spare coins at the end of every day to fill it up with. It is growing slowly. The shopping list index plays a role in managing finances, as well as my sister's remarks that I should buy "only what you want to eat, not what is on sale." Hehehe, that is true.

OK, need to take a shower now, going to church soon. Take care! ^^

All I do is lay around, two years full of tears
From looking at your face all over
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all,
I don't know you at all.

Well, I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say, baby
Safe to say that I'm officially missin' you.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Bad things happen. A lot.

Firstly, it's losing some tangibility over sentimental memory. I'm not sure whether I'd get it back at all. Secondly, I kinda lost a lot of my ringtones and accumulated mobile phone reasonably-important junk. Heh. Oh well. At least it gives me a reason to get a new handset :p

It feels like I'm in some sort of thick melancholic cloud lately; sometimes I just want to stop and enjoy the sun. And the wind. Actually, Melbourne Uni doesn't look that bad on a warm summer day. The maple and oak leaves are somewhat inviting to lie under on a lazy afternoon. Then a good literature book or a classical novel on my face... the smell of paper... dozing off... the smell of grass next to my cheeks... and being blanketed by the warmth of the sun.

It could still get better than this, but that was good enough for a start.

There was one and a half jar of nastar fillings in the fridge; it basically consists of fresh pineapple chunks boiled down to a mash/spread consistency in thin sugar syrup. My auntie usually brings bottles of them and makes nastar whenever she's here, but it looks like late last year she didn't do it. Anyway, it's good. I'm glad she brought it with her. I've been digging into the jars for the past couple of days and finished the half-filled one.

About the uni acceptance, I'll take it on this year. I will also do art courses along the way as this is what I really want to do ever since I was little. Even though I tried to ignore what my blood calls me to do, it worked to no avail. Besides, it's like killing a part of yourself - your talent. I really can't hold it back or else I'll go nuts. Well, this kinda makes it clear that the corporate world is very unlikely to be one I will be content to stay in.

About the art courses, I'm thinking of doing textile design. Why textile design when you have the eye to do fashion design? Well, in my opinion a fashion designer needs to know this three things to produce good clothes: how to draw/illustrate, the characteristics of fabrics used, and pattern-making. The first one is pretty much under my hand although it would be good to take a refresher course (my hand is going 'mouldy'.) Pattern-making can be done through CAD, and further fine-tuned by checking it manually. On the other hand, fabrics is like the kind of paints a painter has in her repertoire. If she has a complete range, she can do heaps. If she has a limited range, her options are limited. Well, even though one has a complete range, there are still limitations. The fun begins at breaking those technical limitations, as well as interpreting events that happen in our lives into the designs.

Art, above all, is about how well you can symbolise your experiences into various medias. The characteristic 'pleasant to look at' is certainly not ranked at number one.

This year I need to be more courageous in making decisions.

(And also, relating to the piggy bank, need to save more.)

Found myself thinking and wishful-thinking over times that have gone past. Stupid girl, those times will never come back. If I keep mourning (to put it bluntly) over one thing out of ten that has been lost, then I will lose the chance to seize the other nine. For now let's hope I can score a part-time apprenticeship at Vixen, and at the same time quit working as a salesperson.

Oh well, time to do my case studies. They are lining up >.< better finish them up real soon. Take care, and make your decisions well.

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, let me kiss you
Then close your eyes and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to live alone
About the time, that I won't have to say...

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go.

Cinema Paradiso

It's good to blog again after so many days neglecting it. Well, now at least there's something fresh to read.

To put it shortly, I am in a dilemma. There is this one thing/event I am expecting... let's call it Event X. Now, Event X is something that I would desire (or at least that's what I think of it - desirable), which will probably lead to Event Gamma (something perceived to be good.) There is a good likelihood Event X will occur. Now that Event X is no longer improbable to occur, I should be somewhat happy... right? Not really. Right now I'm really scared should I found out what I have been waiting for will bring other sets of implications. Ouch.

On New Year's Eve, I went to Singapore [again] for another day trip. The MRT map is somewhat emblazoned on my brain. At the Changi MRT station, there was this sign. It basically mentions (in some sort of directive language and suggestive shorthand drawings): no alcohol, no smoking, no eating, no durian. No alcohol - I can understand that, the Government is notoriously known on discouraging alcoholic beverages consumption. No smoking - it makes sense as well from a public health perspective. No eating - it's understandable they want to keep the place spotless (which somewhat explains the lack of rubbish bins in stations.) No durian...?? This, I have never heard of before. The smell is prohibitive though... hahaha... :D

I was shocked to Nokia 7270 (the firelighter-looking one) on sale at Lucky Plaza, as it was supposed to be out in January. It was still expensive though, which drastically reduced its affordability and desirability. At least now I know how it works (managed to suss out the shopkeeper into putting it on show ^^ ) Meals were also priced rock-bottom up there. I ended up spending something like less than $10 on a big meal, a smaller one and nibbles. Wow @.@ no wonder people gain a lot of weight there. There was a couple of uncomfortable glances from the local; couldn't work out why. I looked quite normal that day.

I was also lucky to be able to have a good chat on the flight back to Melbourne with a Melb Uni guy. We talked about lots of issues from the perennial "why study at Melbourne" type of questions to "who actually found the New World" discussions. Oh, I'm recommending everyone here to read the book titled 1421, which basically overthrows common wisdom of who found the New World (e.g. Columbus, Da Gama, Magellan.) There was no direct evidence as the country/people in question had their travel journals burned by government officials, but the artefacts findings were satisfactory. The linguistic, biological and zoological findings as a whole supports the theory. It would be of little surprise, coupled with previous historical knowledge (still remembered from days of primary school education/rote learning), to believe this theory can be reasonably applied as a whole. It is funny as well to learn how Europeans are ultimately the beneficiary of this knowledge.

Since leaving PwC, I've been on a different beat, an escapist's beat. It's true work changes people, I'm just hoping it's a good influence (as in getting me more motivated to study well). I kept thinking about ice skating, cooking, reading history books, jewellery-making, singing and drawing. I seized a university offer on a somewhat impulsive spirit just for the sake of not losing it. All I could think of is "finish this degree, defer the next one and work". I will be missing Melbourne Uni, as it is where I grew up. This might be another first-time syndrome; don't know what to hope, whether it is or not.

The whole city is on sale and if possible, I'd like to go shopping by sometime later this week ^^ and start saving again in February. Oh well, it's late into the week anyway. Aiming for a skirt, sandals, the ruffled shoulder-drape and some gears for the AX night in March - if the plastic permits. It's quite a hit to be earning in Rp and spending in A$, all done when you are away from parents... hehe... missing them... nah, not really. January is usually a bad month since (1) the city's on sale and you'd hate to miss it (2) need to pay for all sorts of bills (3) need to buy uni books. Earlier today I went to this Metropolitan Museum of Art shop and stared at their Fabergé costume jewellery. Well, it's not exactly costume jewellery as it is made out of .925 silver, but it's not the Fabergé atelier-made pieces anyway. For rhinestone-studded, enameled sterling silver, the price they are asking is rather outrageous. Hence the staring and not the buying ^^;

The song lyrics will come later; there's something absurdly wrong with my computer. Oh well, I'm glad it now has got extra leg rooms of 80GB. Heh heh heh heh heh. Yet I will still need to be careful on hard disk usage, as I wouldn't like filling up more than 50% of the disk. It's a psychological (behavioural?) notion brought about by years on less than 10GB and seeing file sizes quadruple over the years. Also happy to bring the satin ribbon roll from Jakarta... it's sooo nice. Anyway, take care and good night! ^o^

Se tu fossi nel mio cuore per un giorno
Potreste avere un'idea
Di chio che sento io
Quando m'abbracci forte a te
E petto a petto, noi
Respiriamo insieme