Don't Know Why

Sooooo.......... tired.

Life has been a bit more of a whirlwind for me, especially for the past few months. I keep finding myself sticking my head into the pillow much more often that I imagined I would. The coming vacation is, although a bit forced (preferring long Christmas holidays over Lebaran ones), looked forward at with much excitement. Although I'll be doing final draft drawings for the competition, good times are up ahead. Or at least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Won't be dragging myself around too much work these days, the *light* cough isn't clearing away as fast as I thought it would be. I'll keep you updated. Thanks a lot for himai for dropping a couple of calls even when I was really really busy - I will make it up, promise! Till then, take care and love you all so much! ^.^

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind, forever

Out across the endless sea
I would die in ectasy
But I'll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road alone

Listen With Your Heart

Since I was away last week, I had little time to touch up on my knowledge of the world, and consequently were just catching up with the what's-new for everybody. Apologies for my ignorance of this blog, too.

I had a chat with Poink the other day. It is rather funny that [after the chat] I came to a conclusion we were in a deadpan condition [for now] in terms of relationships. As for myself, it's not the actual desire to have somebody acting as if I'm his special someone. It's the thought whether I am normal or suffering from some kind of mentally degenerative diseases. I'm starting to see close friends getting into engagements and stuff like that (!!) Worse still, sometimes I wonder whether I am actually able to communicate effectively with other human beings...

I'm also preparing for a design competition coming up in mid-November. Once the pattern-making classes were finished, I get myself home early and draw all night long. It gets tiring, but it's refreshing too, given it has been a while since I concentrated on preparing sketches. Sometimes the sketches take a near-obsession level of commitment I am inclined to categorise them as artworks. Other than that, I haven't been devouring pictures to the extent I practised some six months ago. Is it actually possible to aim for your dream, set your goals and chase them accordingly... all while living a decent life?

There is a financial goal I'm going for: collecting three months' worth of pay within the next five. There is a career goal I have set: working in Melbourne. There is a long-term career goal: making a living out of making clothes. There are also other goals which are way too much to be listed by their name in this blog...

I have weird questions, too... for example, will I have cultural shock when I return to Melbourne? Who am I to you? How will I leave my mark on history? These are the questions that I'm searching their answers for.

I believe this blog entry serves a greater use in the future. Hopefully I haven't made you all depressed or worried about me - I'm fine, just a bit tired and [probably] screwed up. All as you can see. Take care :))

When you can't find your way through the night
When you've lost touch and nothing's feeling right
You can't find that path that leads you on
And you don't know which road to choose
That's when you've got to

Listen with your heart
Listen to your soul
Inside you'll find the answer
The place you need to go

Listen with your heart
Your heart will let you know
No matter where you are
Just listen and your heart will lead you home

(Bali, the 2nd)

Just letting everybody calm down by declaring:

Last night (and even today), I wasn't in Bali. Hence I wasn't caught up in the catastrophe. Thank you for all who have been worried of my whereabouts; luckily, I was plain lucky. Thankies ^^

Last night I went to the youth fellowship at Hartadi and Hero's church. Hartadi wasn't there... grrrgh... but Hero was, yay!! The fellowship itself resembled PK. We weren't allocated in the same small group in the fellowship, but then that was fine too. I get to meet up with people... some even thought I was of the tender age of eighteen... but really, now I can legally have liquor in the States! (meaning: 21 already.) Each group was told to build a tower from a stack of postcards (courtesy of Hawa Communicator). My group ended up winning for no apparent reason. The cards kept falling at first, we were frustrated (one even started wandering around), but after a while the cards just held themselves together and we kept building up. We just realised we were winning when others started to cheer on us. I took a picture of the tower.



I went out to purchase watercolour paints today. They sure are freakin' pricey!! About 10% of my monthly salary went out the door when I swiped the card... sigh... my purchasing power is going down, especially with the fuel price increase. But anyway, the real world is not a bed of roses, so we gotta make do with what we have.

There's this phone dialogue I once had with a mid-aged guy...
Mid-aged guy (G): so, do you give 10% of your income to church?
Marsha (M): you mean, tithe? Yes... (thinks) why?
G: Aren't you afraid to run out of money?
M: (confused) ...what do you mean?
G: Well, if you give your money out, you'll have nothing left for your family... your parents... your brothers and sister...
M: (somewhat dumbed down) Erm... there's still 90% left for me to use up, right?
The point with tithes is that they are God's right. The money isn't ours. Plus, they're not that much anyway, when you come to think of it. I spent 10% of my monthly salary for watercolour paints in three hours ^.^;

Alright, that's all for now... take care, everyone!